On more than one occasion in the past month, Kiwi ex-soldier Kane Te Tai has thought: “If we’re going to die, then we’re going to die.”

Since arriving at the frontline in Ukraine, the defence force veteran has worked alongside a humanitarian organisation to stop women and children being snatched by sex traffickers at the border; he's walked towards Russian bombs; taught locals how to deactivate mines; and extracted vulnerable people under heavy shellfire.

“If it’s not dangerous, we don’t want to stay,” he said.

Te Tai arrived in Ukraine at the beginning of May. Before leaving New Zealand, he had a plan for what he thought he would be doing upon arrival in the war-torn country.

He is one of the New Zealanders who chose not to heed government advice, in the hope he would be able to offer volunteer assistance in combat training, humanitarian aid missions, and extractions.

But Te Tai’s plans A, B and C quickly disintegrated, leaving him stranded. A series of fortunate meetings has seen the Kiwi jump between groups and help out on a range of missions.

At one point, he was moving supplies through contested land, with Russian bombs dropping within 100 metres of their trucks. It quickly became clear many of the Ukrainians in the group had no training for such a situation.

Since then, Te Tai said he had been helping Ukrainian civilians learn how to detect and defuse mines; taught combat first aid; he’s taken groups of men, women and children for personal training sessions; and taught local men hand-to-hand combat.

Ukranians who remained were distributing food parcels or making sure vital infrastructure got back up and running; some were throwing Molotov cocktails or “generally being a nuisance”; and others were hacking into Russian systems.

“Basically, these are people giving the middle finger to Russia.”

In recent weeks, the Kiwi has been working alongside an underground resistance group in Kharkiv, in northeast Ukraine, extracting people from dangerous places, under heavy fire.

In one case, the group ran through a tank barrage, to find a group of children sheltering under a house. Some of these children hadn’t seen sunlight for days; they hadn’t heard birds since the start of the war.

“Sometimes we can get there, and literally the person doesn’t want to go, and the place is getting shelled to shit.”

The strict curfew means lights out by 9pm, and there is little to do but watch YouTube videos, or perhaps play a game of Monopoly Deal.

Drinking isn’t on the agenda. The ex-soldier has been living frugally, leaving money from his Givealittle fundraising efforts to buy things like food, clothes and medical equipment for others.

Te Tai admits he was a bit anxious before his boots hit Ukrainian soil.

“The moment I got here and met the people it was done, it was locked in.”

After a couple of weeks in Kharkiv, Te Tai is ready to move onto the next mission in Ukraine’s southeast.

“Our luck may run out in Mariupol,” he said. “But we’re not letting fear dictate what we do.”

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The Kiwi said he was spurred on by the resilience of the Ukrainian people. “They’ve still got a lot of fight in them.”

But there was also a degree of what Te Tai believed to be misplaced hope. “They still think everyone is coming to rescue them… We know no-one’s coming to rescue them – that’s the saddest thing.”

Former defence minister Ron Mark has been critical of both New Zealand, and international organisations, for not doing more to help Ukraine.

Last month, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced 30 New Zealand troops would travel to the UK, where they would assist Ukranians in light gun training.

This commitment of troops sat alongside military aid sent to Europe, a visa category for Kiwi-Ukranians to bring their family to New Zealand, and sanctions on Russian financial institutions, organisations and oligarchs.

Having recently returned from Ukraine, where he worked with faith-based organisation the Great Commission Society, Mark said 30 troops was a good start, but 130 would be better, and 230 would be great.

He suggested Kiwi soldiers be stationed closer to Ukraine’s border, and that their combat training go beyond focusing on light guns.

When asked what New Zealanders should know about the situation in Ukraine, Mark said they needed to know the people being killed were people just like them.

“They need to know there are 18, 19-year-old kids, who were at university, who died fighting in Mariupol.

“They need to know that a 22-year-old tutor … three of his students from university are dead from fighting,” Mark said.

“Young people are fighting every way they can, including in the trenches, in running shoes and puffer jackets, with an AK-47. And they’re doing it because it is their country ...

“If those things don’t motivate the country, then how about this: if the grain doesn’t get out of Ukraine, if the fields aren’t sown, there’s going to be such a massive shortage of food internationally, that it’ll interdict the UN’s ability to work in Africa; it will interdict many countries’ ability to feed poor and impoverished people - let alone ordinary people - and the world economy will suffer.”

Mark said he was moved by the wave of thousands Ukrainians returning to their homeland.

“Most of them are resigned to the fact that if they die, then they will die in their own country; they will die with the people they love, and they will die fighting for their country.

“You can’t walk away from that and not be changed.”